Reddit user accused of 'parentifying' her foster daughter did no such thing, insists counselor

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A caller foster mother who took to Reddit pinch worries that she mightiness inadvertently beryllium "parentifying" her eldest foster girl is not doing truthful astatine nan infinitesimal — but will request to beryllium judge that she does not successful nan future, an master told Fox News Digital. 

Reddit personification AmazingWheel4790 asked users of nan subreddit "Am I nan A--hole" (AITA) to measurement successful aft her friend accused her of parentifiying 1 of her three foster children. 

"AITA for ‘parentifying’ my foster daughter?" asked nan original poster successful a Friday, Feb. 9 station connected nan subreddit.

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In nan post, AmazingWheel4790 said she precocious took successful 3 foster children: a 13-year-old woman named Diana, a 5-year-old boy named Michael, and a 4-year-old woman named Emily.

"They are each siblings who were going to beryllium separated, truthful I sewage them to debar that, and I'm planning to adopt them because they are awesome kids who I emotion very much," she wrote. (She did not stock her location.)

Little Emily, however, "is a very picky eater and if her food is not made successful a circumstantial measurement she will not eat it." wrote AmazingWheel4790 of her youngest foster child.

"For example, her breadstuff needs to beryllium trim successful a very circumstantial way. I person tried to trim it nan measurement she wants, but she ne'er eats what I make, because she says I'm doing it wrong," nan foster mother wrote. "She will eat what Diana makes, though, moreover though I tin committedness Diana's breadstuff and excavation look precisely nan same." 

Attempts to instrumentality nan younger woman into reasoning her older sister prepared nutrient that was really handled by AmazingWheel4790 apparently person failed.

"She can't beryllium fooled," wrote nan foster. mother. "She is picky pinch truthful galore things." 

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Diana would assistance pinch nan mentation of meals, without incident, nan female wrote — until Thursday, that is. 

"Yesterday I had my friends complete for dinner," wrote AmazingWheel4790. "I called Diana and asked her if she could please thief maine hole Emily's nutrient because Diana knows her best."

The mom added, "She agreed and started helping me."

AmazingWheel4790's friend asked if Diana was "always responsible [for] feeding Emily," to which nan foster mother replied, yes, Diana "helps maine pinch this a lot." 

The friend, said AmazingWheel4790, called her an "a--hole" and "accused maine of parentifying Diana, saying it's my occupation to provender my kid, not her job." 

So — "am I really nan a--hole?" asked AmazingWheel4790 of others connected societal media. 

Fox News Digital reached retired to AmazingWheel4790 for immoderate updates to nan communicative she shared.

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The communicative arsenic told does not emergence to nan level of "parentification," Najamah Davis, MSW, LCSW told Fox News Digital. 

Davis, a licensed objective societal worker, is based successful New Jersey and is nan proprietor of Najamah Davis Counseling Services. 

"Parentification occurs erstwhile a kid is expected to return connected big responsibilities, specified arsenic caring for younger siblings, astatine an inappropriate age," Davis told Fox News Digital.

This situation, she said, is not apt that. 

However, "the foster mother needs to beryllium mindful of nan move betwixt nan 2 girls and guarantee nan older girl doesn't consciousness for illustration she's being forced to return connected a parental role." 

Davis suggested that possibly some girls could beryllium progressive successful nutrient mentation — which "could alleviate immoderate feelings of load connected nan older sister and let nan younger sister to gradually go comfortable eating without her sister's nonstop involvement."

David said that, successful addition, "it whitethorn beryllium adjuvant to talk to nan older girl astir her feelings and make judge she knows she tin pass immoderate concerns aliases worries astir nan situation," she said. 

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On nan AITA subreddit, group tin reply to posts and bespeak nan poster is "NTA" ("Not nan A--hole"), "YTA" ("You're nan A--hole"), "NAH" ("No A--holes Here") aliases "ESH" ("Everyone Sucks Here").

Users tin "upvote" responses they deliberation are adjuvant and "downvote" ones that are not.

More than 600 group commented connected nan fosher mother's post, pinch nan mostly saying that she was "NTA" for asking her foster girl to thief pinch meal — and that chores for illustration this are a normal portion of astir childhoods. 

"I deliberation nan only measurement you'd beryllium [at fault] is if Diana expressed that doing this for her sister was thing that bothered her," said Reddit personification "shesacancer" successful nan top-upvoted comment. 

The aforesaid commenter noted that "whatever business that led to them being successful foster attraction resulted successful Diana doing immoderate grade of parenting good earlier you entered nan image since Emily prefers nutrient from her."

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"For what it's worthy (and I don't cognize if you've done it already), I deliberation a bully thought would beryllium to person a speech pinch Diana astir this," nan commenter wrote — and guarantee that Diana is OK pinch nan arrangement. 

"NTA, seems for illustration you're doing your champion and gathering Emily wherever she's at," said shesacancer.

Another personification concurred pinch that.

"NTA. If Diana doesn’t mind, this is nan impermanent solution to making nan kid eat," said a Redditor called "Ok-Nobody9590" successful different apical comment. 

"For a 4-year-old it makes absolute sense. Since location is truthful small they tin control, they thin to effort and ‘control’ food," said Ok-Nobody9590. 

"Obviously, clip and possibly therapy will alteration things for each of you," wrote nan aforesaid commenter.

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